anecdotes personnelles

I Have Genital Herpes and Everything is OK

Written by: Anonymous

Edited by: Zahra Taboun (she/her).


I always thought I was knowledgeable about sexual health and that I practiced safe sex. I knew about common STIs, I used condoms, I got tested regularly, and I spoke with my partners regarding their sexual history. It was not until I experienced my own sexual health challenge that I realized the importance of sexual health and lack of education around it. 

The day after Canada Day in 2020 I woke up feeling unusual.

I was very weak with muscle pain, had a fever, abnormal vaginal discharge, itching, and what seemed like a scratch on my labia. I immediately tried to make an appointment with my doctor, but unfortunately, I had to speak over the phone to a walk-in doctor due to the limited availability and the Covid-19 restrictions in place.

Upon receiving the call I was asked about my symptoms and my sexual activity history. I told the doctor that my partner and I both got tested for STIs prior to having intercourse which then dismissed the possibility of a sexual transmitted infection. The doctor concluded with a diagnosis of bacterial vaginosis – a vaginal infection resulting from a change in the vaginal flora that is treated with antibiotics. I remember hanging up relieved that my symptoms would resolve with a simple course of antibiotic treatment. 

The next day I started to experience vulvar pain. I noticed the appearance of a blister/lesion, increased vaginal discharge, and labial redness. I knew what I was experiencing was not bacterial vaginosis and started to research my symptoms. The lesions and tingling pain I was experiencing pointed to the diagnosis of genital herpes, however, I was in denial and convinced I needed a vaginal examination. I called the doctor’s office again and begged to be excused to come in for examination despite my fever. Thankfully, after stressing the need to receive a swab I was able to receive a vaginal exam. The doctor collected vaginal swabs and performed blood tests to consider all possibilities. Based on my clinical presentation the doctor concluded with the diagnosis of genital herpes. I could not stop crying. I felt so embarrassed and shameful. How could I have an incurable STI? What if my relationship ends and I have to tell a future partner about this? Will these lesions keep coming back?

The doctor was very quick to communicate my diagnosis; I remember feeling rushed, uninformed, and scared.

My swab results came back – they confirmed the diagnosis of HSV-1- on the genitals. The doctor was very quick to communicate my diagnosis; I remember feeling rushed, uninformed, and scared. She said the antiviral medication would resolve the symptoms and if the symptoms arose again I would need more antivirals. I received minimal information regarding my future with genital herpes and I had so many questions that were left unanswered. I wondered how I could prevent another outbreak. How do I deal with the pain from my outbreak? What does this mean for future sexual encounters I have?

As a Registered Nurse, I felt defeated and more than ever understood how a patient can feel unsupported. Due to the lack of education regarding sexual health I was left to do my own research. I discovered multiple ways to reduce recurrent outbreaks (reducing stress), I found out about a trick of peeing with a squirt bottle of warm water or in a tub (yes I would draw a bath to pee to reduce the pain), and I learned that genital herpes is very manageable and not a death sentence.

After several months passing, I now know that herpes is extremely common, I am able to recognize when an outbreak is coming (for me I experience tingling, neuropathic pain, and itchiness), I know to take my medication immediately, and I know that this diagnosis does not define me. I think it’s important for others to know about ways to prevent getting a STI, but also, to understand that you can still live a fulfilling life with a STI.

Health care providers must recognize the stress and fear a patient experiences when receiving a new diagnosis, as well as their role in providing patient education. It is important to thoroughly explain a new diagnosis, to offer evidence-based resources, and to give time to answer questions. 

Anonymous (she/her) is a Registered Nurse and recently completed her degree in a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. She is passionate about sexual health, women's health, and patient empowerment. In the future, she would like to complete a Masters Degree in Nursing and work as a sexual health nurse. Her interest in sexual health started when she first experienced challenges with her sexual health and when she realized the lack of education around the topic. She believes that sharing her story is important to help other health care professionals empathize with patients and help patients feel more comfortable about a diagnosis.

FRANCAIS