Written by: Anonymous
Edited by: Zahra Taboun (she/her).
I always thought I was knowledgeable about sexual health and that I practiced safe sex. I knew about common STIs, I used condoms, I got tested regularly, and I spoke with my partners regarding their sexual history. It was not until I experienced my own sexual health challenge that I realized the importance of sexual health and lack of education around it.
The day after Canada Day in 2020 I woke up feeling unusual.
I was very weak with muscle pain, had a fever, abnormal vaginal discharge, itching, and what seemed like a scratch on my labia. I immediately tried to make an appointment with my doctor, but unfortunately, I had to speak over the phone to a walk-in doctor due to the limited availability and the Covid-19 restrictions in place.
Upon receiving the call I was asked about my symptoms and my sexual activity history. I told the doctor that my partner and I both got tested for STIs prior to having intercourse which then dismissed the possibility of a sexual transmitted infection. The doctor concluded with a diagnosis of bacterial vaginosis – a vaginal infection resulting from a change in the vaginal flora that is treated with antibiotics. I remember hanging up relieved that my symptoms would resolve with a simple course of antibiotic treatment.
The next day I started to experience vulvar pain. I noticed the appearance of a blister/lesion, increased vaginal discharge, and labial redness. I knew what I was experiencing was not bacterial vaginosis and started to research my symptoms. The lesions and tingling pain I was experiencing pointed to the diagnosis of genital herpes, however, I was in denial and convinced I needed a vaginal examination. I called the doctor’s office again and begged to be excused to come in for examination despite my fever. Thankfully, after stressing the need to receive a swab I was able to receive a vaginal exam. The doctor collected vaginal swabs and performed blood tests to consider all possibilities. Based on my clinical presentation the doctor concluded with the diagnosis of genital herpes. I could not stop crying. I felt so embarrassed and shameful. How could I have an incurable STI? What if my relationship ends and I have to tell a future partner about this? Will these lesions keep coming back?
The doctor was very quick to communicate my diagnosis; I remember feeling rushed, uninformed, and scared.
My swab results came back – they confirmed the diagnosis of HSV-1- on the genitals. The doctor was very quick to communicate my diagnosis; I remember feeling rushed, uninformed, and scared. She said the antiviral medication would resolve the symptoms and if the symptoms arose again I would need more antivirals. I received minimal information regarding my future with genital herpes and I had so many questions that were left unanswered. I wondered how I could prevent another outbreak. How do I deal with the pain from my outbreak? What does this mean for future sexual encounters I have?
As a Registered Nurse, I felt defeated and more than ever understood how a patient can feel unsupported. Due to the lack of education regarding sexual health I was left to do my own research. I discovered multiple ways to reduce recurrent outbreaks (reducing stress), I found out about a trick of peeing with a squirt bottle of warm water or in a tub (yes I would draw a bath to pee to reduce the pain), and I learned that genital herpes is very manageable and not a death sentence.
After several months passing, I now know that herpes is extremely common, I am able to recognize when an outbreak is coming (for me I experience tingling, neuropathic pain, and itchiness), I know to take my medication immediately, and I know that this diagnosis does not define me. I think it’s important for others to know about ways to prevent getting a STI, but also, to understand that you can still live a fulfilling life with a STI.
Health care providers must recognize the stress and fear a patient experiences when receiving a new diagnosis, as well as their role in providing patient education. It is important to thoroughly explain a new diagnosis, to offer evidence-based resources, and to give time to answer questions.
