Written By: Elyssa Vanlian (she/her).
Edited By: Jillian Schneidman (she/her).
Sometimes, the internet can be a really scary place. I learned this lesson the hard way, one week before my first IUD insertion was scheduled to take place. My first attempt of three, that is.
After a year and a half trying various birth control pills, falling victim to every single negative side effect – weight gain, acne, depression, you name it – I decided to explore alternative options for contraception. I had a few friends who had recently gotten an IUD, so I reluctantly booked a consultation at my university’s clinic with a GP. I say reluctantly because the idea of having what I considered to be a foreign object inserted up there sounded pretty terrifying to me. My doctor at the clinic was a young and bubbly woman. She outlined all the different IUD options I had and ended up recommending the Mirena for me. She detailed the benefits and risks and walked me through the procedure, educating me on anything that could potentially go wrong in the process. I booked my insertion with her and the only thing she asked of me was to not look up any IUD testimonies online, under any circumstances. Naturally, I did the exact opposite of what she asked.
I was one week away from my insertion, scrolling through the deepest darkest parts of the internet.
I found horror stories that were so bad I could hardly believe they were real. By the day of my procedure, I had probably read just about every single IUD-gone-wrong story that existed online. Still, I felt it was too late to back down and decided to stick to my decision.
My appointment was early on a Tuesday morning. I woke up that day extremely anxious but tried my best to not let any of the things I read online scare me away. As I was sitting on the table in my baby blue hospital gown, moments away from my procedure, my doctor looked at me and said, “Oh, there’s just one more thing I forgot to mention that could potentially go wrong. It’s not very common, but it’s possible for your uterus to be tilted in such a way that it won’t allow your IUD in”. I thanked her for letting me know, and she began my insertion.
I am a big believer in Murphy’s Law, that is, that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Which is why I found it painfully ironic that the one potential complication that I was informed of minutes before my procedure, was precisely the complication that prevented me from getting my IUD that day. For about 15 minutes, my doctor struggled to insert the device as I laid on the table in pain. Finally, she decided there was no point to keep trying, and stopped.
I’m not sure why, but I had a lump in my throat. I felt frustrated, defeated. I had plenty of friends who had wonderful IUD insertion experiences and felt angry that I could not have benefitted from the same experience. It felt unfair. My doctor was extremely empathetic and told me that if I still wanted to try, it might be easier to insert it when I was on my period. My period was due to come that Friday, so she told me to drop in at 4 o’clock after the clinic closed and that she would take me after her last patient of the day. I really appreciated how committed she seemed to give me my IUD, which is why I agreed to try again.
She gave me a hug and really validated the cluster of emotions I was feeling.
Friday came and went, and my IUD insertion failed once more. This time, I let the lump in my throat get the best of me and I started to cry. I was tired, confused, discouraged, and overwhelmed. I had now gone through the most painful part of the procedure twice, without actually getting the IUD. I was lucky however, to have the kind and caring doctor that I did. She gave me a hug and really validated the cluster of emotions I was feeling. Then, she asked me if I was willing to try a third time, but this time with a gynecologist that she would refer me to, who was significantly more experienced with trickier IUD insertions. I agreed, because I trusted her, and because I felt like at that point, I had gone through too much not to get the damn IUD.
My doctor reordered my brand-new IUD for me and had the OBGYN clinic she referred me to call me to schedule an appointment for my third attempt. Thankfully, the third time was the charm, and my IUD insertion with the gynecologist was a success. The procedure took no more than 15 minutes, and the pain, although present, was bearable.
It has now been one year that I have had my IUD and despite my two failed insertions, I am still incredibly happy with my decision to get one. I don’t think I would have felt confident enough to try again so many times, had my first doctor not been as empathetic, understanding, and committed to me as she was. With all the wild stories that I had read online, she still managed to make me feel safe and reassured. To me, she is why I am now able to contribute an IUD story with a happy ending to the scary place that is the internet.
